Highs and Lows

Going to law school in South Bend or Ithaca must be kind of lonely in the sense that you're the only law school in the town. (I passed on thick packets from both these schools.) No other 1Ls around from other schools in town to cry with over your misery, cry specifically over your collective misery over generous helpings of alcohol. In larger cities with multiple law schools, there is a unique animal called the law school mixer.

In LA, there is an "all law school party" (UCLA, USC, Loyola, Pepperdine, Southwestern, etc.) each semester and various bar reviews throughout the semester co-sponsored with other law schools. EX: while I did not go to the one last night, it was a UCLA-Loyola bar review. The official story behind these events is so that we get to meet the other law students going to schools around town and to network.

Here's the unofficial story of how these work out in practice, all based on true things said after liberal consumption of alcohol:

I should come as no surprise that law schools across any particular city are ranked across the board on a certain weekly news magazine's rankings. These rankings determine, among many things, the types of legal employers who will recruit at a particular school. And as a general matter, the future lawyers of America look better the further you go lower on the rankings list.

Guys from higher ranking schools go to these events to chat it up with girls from lower ranked schools. Lots of the guys claim that throwing out the UCLA/USC name is all it takes for a lower ranked girl to see dollar signs, and these girls subsequently throw themselves at the guys. Girl wants to meet her future husband, guy want to meet the girl for tonight. Likewise, girls from higher ranking schools complain about how much cuter the guys are from the other schools, but that there's no future because the guys see the girls as future sugar mommas.

So, what these law school parties wind up being is a testament to our shallowness. Some of us hunt for temporary satisfactions, using our school name to do so. Others hunt for long-term options, guided only by a singular focus on the school name. But in the end, all of us are left drunk and unhappy, and go back to school the next morning complaining about the lack of hot girls/guys or about a lack of future sugar daddys/mommas at our respective law schools.

And we wonder where lawyers get a reputation for shallowness.