I attract crazies
As per my usual custom, I went out last night to a pre-Halloween party with TheLadyFriend. It was fun, and as I was ready to leave, two very drunk female law students came up to me.
#1: (slurred) We should totally have a threesome tonight
Me: Um...
#2: (even more slurred) Yeah totally, that would be sooo hot.
#1: How about it?
Me: Um, I'm not...[I get interrupted]
#2: Oh, my....[bends forward, heaves, and throws up on me]
Naturally, I did not have a threesome last night and went home smelling of fruity girly drinks (at least she didn't eat beforehand). Nothing was going to happen last night, for they violated three central rules in my book:
a) I don't poop where I sleep (like the law, this is the default rule but has a few exceptions)
b) females who can't hold their liquor = unattractive in my book
c) most importantly, throwing up on me is not a good way to earn TheFox's good graces, regardless of drunken threesome or not.
Why do these things happen to me?
#1: (slurred) We should totally have a threesome tonight
Me: Um...
#2: (even more slurred) Yeah totally, that would be sooo hot.
#1: How about it?
Me: Um, I'm not...[I get interrupted]
#2: Oh, my....[bends forward, heaves, and throws up on me]
Naturally, I did not have a threesome last night and went home smelling of fruity girly drinks (at least she didn't eat beforehand). Nothing was going to happen last night, for they violated three central rules in my book:
a) I don't poop where I sleep (like the law, this is the default rule but has a few exceptions)
b) females who can't hold their liquor = unattractive in my book
c) most importantly, throwing up on me is not a good way to earn TheFox's good graces, regardless of drunken threesome or not.
Why do these things happen to me?
posted by The Fox at 7:55 PM
4 Comments:
ur so lucky
my section is full of asexual drones
Except I normally don't associate lucky with being thrown up on
Sexiness is a magnet for vomit, I guess.
Further, what kind of girls ask a guy for a threesome when he's there with another girl? I mean, quite apart from the obvious indication of them being thieving drunken sluts, there's a strong possibility that they also CAN'T COUNT.
Um...it's a charmed life you lead. Vom does wash out, you know.
You said no cuz LadyFriend was there, right?
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