1st Semester in Numbers

1st semester 1L at a glance:

Money spent on casebooks: $300
Money spent on commercial supplements to explain casebooks: $500
Number of alcoholic beverages drank: at least 320 and counting
Money spent on aforementioned alcohol: at least $1300
Number of legal memos written: 3
Number of classes missed: 5
Number of these classes missed because I was sick: 0
Number of these classes missed because I was hungover: 5
Number of times cold-called on in class: approximately 12
Number of times I sounded like a fool when called: 11 (I passed the other time)
Number of times I thought about dropping out of law school: 2,521 (give or take 500)
Number of games of spider solitaire played: 879 (according to the stats)
Average number of minutes spent online during each 65-minute class: 50
Number of times I’ve thought about being a law professor: 0
Number of times I’ve been totally lost in class: 468
Number of times I’ve cringed at bad law professor humor: 73
Number of times I’ve thought of strangling gunners: 87
Number of times I’ve been glad that gunners take the heat off me: 132
Number of times I check Facebook a day: 20
Number of blog posts: 104
Number of girls I’ve had sexy-time: 1≥ x ≤5 (a guy has to have some secrets)
Number of threesomes offered: 1
Number of threesomes partook: 0
Number of times I was thrown up on: 1
Money spent on gas: $600+
Money spent on parking, including school permit: $500+
Money spent eating out: $1,500+
Money spent on pasta (the only thing I know how to make): $20
Number of hours spent in the library: too many for my taste
Number of years law school has taken off my life due to stress, boredom, and alcohol consumption: 8

That’s about it. As you might have might been able to tell from these numbers, I am a very studious law student. I’m going now to attempt to pretend to look like I’m studying.